Blog

---

---

---

Marriage (Part One)

There is much confusion today about marriage, especially about what God says about marriage. In this series we will be looking at what God says about marriage. Our discussion, therefore, must start with God’s design for marriage, and naturally we must start at the beginning.

In the first chapter of Genesis, God creates the heavens and the earth and then begins to put in place His designs just as a writer might make an outline and then flesh out the story or a host might put a table in place and then set it and place the dishes on it. He creates each creature and each plant just as He wanted it to be. He did not create birds or animals to breathe water nor fish to breathe air. Each was designed to fill its place in God’s created order. He did the same with man and woman.

Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” (Gen. 1:26 NKJ)

He made two sexes.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Gen. 1:27 NKJ)

He did not make three sexes or a hundred and three sexes. He made them distinctly male and distinctly female. Nor do they change from one sex to another. Homosexuality and the whole LGBTQ+ movement is a perversion of God’s design. Like taking the car seats and attaching them where the tires go and putting the tires where the seats go. This perversion changes the proper God given design into something that is neither comfortable nor functional. It might feel good to have the wind in your hair, but when you turn the car on and put it in drive you will be flung from the seat to the pavement if the car moves. This movement is a dead end that will only bring tears, pain, and destruction.

Nor is the progenitor of LGBTQ+, feminism, any better. This perverts God’s design by trying to make men into women and women into men. Each sex, male and female, has its place in the created order. To introduce this perversion is to bring chaos and confusion into something beautiful that God not only designed but also proclaimed to be very good.

Genesis 1:31 Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day. (Gen. 1:31 NKJ)

When He finishes creating, everything is perfect, orderly, and beautiful. In the third chapter, man by his sin introduces destruction and death, confusion and chaos into the beauty of God’s design. Things no longer function as God intended. The beauty of God’s creation is marred by the effects of Man’s sin much like a child taking the Mona Lisa turning it upside down and drawing something not even fit for the refrigerator door on top of God’s masterpiece. This is where things stand presently.

Let’s now look at how God designed it to be.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. (Gen. 2:21-22 NKJ)

This brings us to a significant point and it is one which must be understood if we are to understand marriage. Man was created first (someone had to be first and God’s order and design was first the man and then the woman) this does not make him superior. Like a reflection of the Godhead, man is in the place of authority just as God the Father is. Woman is in a place of submission to the man just as Jesus is to the Father.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Cor. 11:3 NKJV)

The woman is glorified in her submission just as Christ was in His.

Philippians 2:5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,⁶ who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.⁹ Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name,¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those who are in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth,¹¹ and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Even so, when the woman, who is equal with the man as Jesus is with the Father, submits to the man as her authority, she receives glory.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. (Prov. 12:4 NKJ)

After a discussion of what a good wife does Proverbs 31 says this:

Proverbs 31:28 – 31 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. (Prov. 31:28 – 31 NKJ)

By adhering to God’s design, women bring glory to God, their husbands, and themselves. There is no greater accomplishment in any other pursuit. In Ephesians 5 we are given the roles of man and wife in the marriage.

Ephesians 5:22 – 33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph. 5:22 – 33 KJV)

The picture here is of Christ and the Church. Man and wife are to be like Christ and the Church. The man has the position of authority and love. The woman has the position of submission and respect. Some wish to interpret verse 21,

5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. (Eph. 5:21 NKJ),

That the husband must submit to the wife as well as the wife to the husband. There are two lies here. The first is that somehow this ends the wife’s submission, but if the argument were true then submission remains. The second lie is the argument itself for if it were true then Christ would have to be submissive to the Church. This is wickedness and perversion at its heart. No person of the godhead submits to man. This is the heart of the sin in the garden, “You will be like God”. God submits to no created being. Christ does not submit to man and therefore the man does not submit to the wife. Rather, verse 21 is giving an overview of the following passage where the wife submits to her husband, the children to the parents, and the servants to their masters. This is God’s design and we must submit to Him and follow it.

Husbands take note. Our position is as Christ to the Church. He doesn’t lord it over us as a tyrant but rather he,

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Rom. 8:28 NKJ)

So to your dealings with your wife are to be for her good and not for your purposes and pleasure. We as husbands must have the same end in mind that Christ has for our wives.

Romans 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (Rom. 8:29 KJV)

His goal is that we be conformed to the image of Christ. Your one question then in realation to your wife is, “Will this make her more Christlike?” To achieve this you must be willing to die if necessary, and certainly day to day death to self is necessary to achieve this goal. Be careful therefore how you treat her, how you live with her and how you love her for Christ has called you to the highest standard – to die that she might live.

Live according to God’s design.